Cripes! It seems dear BJ, the Mayor of London has been using some rather colourful language on the blower with his old chum Keith Vaz. Following a shambolic performance at a Home Affairs Select Committee meeting, and a subsequent announcement to the press that old Boris had failed to do his homework (or done it, but left it at home) our Fat Controller rang up Mr Vaz to deliver an expletive-laden protest, including between 3 and 10 f-words and  the interesting insult ‘cock-a-maniac’. Hmmm, perhaps he never meant the conversation to go public but he’s lucky not to have mortally offended his former friend. It’s all… not very professional.

The news has resonated with the team at Spoonfed towers, following a break-out meeting yesterday where it was unanimously decided to smarten up our own  act with regard to language. Swearing is, of course, a valuable and satisfying part of our Anglo-Saxon heritage. However, it definitely does offend some people and now that thousands of you are checking us out every day, we’re putting the kibosh on anything that could be considered off-putting. Or lazy! The main point about swearing in written content, is that it denotes a lack of imagination. That’s why you won’t see Spoonfed rolling out a nasty word anytime soon unless someone really, truly deserves it.

Following up this commendable decision, I arrived at the office this morning determined to lead by verbal example. From 9am henceforth, I resolved, no blue language would sully the office environment. Or none from me anyway.

But then I found out we’d run out of milk and sugar.

JH